You’ve been here before. You need to convince someone to say YES to your idea, your plea, your request. Yet despite your best efforts sometimes you are not rewarded with the answer you want. You get turned down. I’ve been there before and I wanted to understand the art of ask. So I started researching why this happens and I’ve discovered a few simple things you can do to set yourself up for success the next time you need someone to say YES to you.
Top tips on how to get people to say YES to you:
- Be honest with yourself. Is this request something that you can actually picture happening? Will someone say yes to your request? If it’s going to be a hard no then don’t bother because it is a waste of time for both of you.
- Build trust. Do you have a good relationship with the person you are asking the request from? If not, build up the personal side of the relationship first before the ask.
- Gather evidence. Make sure that you are asking for something that is based in fact or relevance. It’s harder to turn down someone when they present well thought out truths and reason.
- Dress to impress. People put you into a category within 6 seconds of seeing you so make sure you look the part. Dress up and add color to make an impression. Blue is a comforting and straightforward, approachable color. Red makes a statement of power and purple evokes feelings of royalty and strength. Use your style to your advantage to connect on a different subconscious level.
- Timing is everything. Did you ever have someone come to you right before lunch and want a favor? Were you put off or distracted by that chicken salad sandwich waiting for you? Make an appointment if necessary even when asking a friend or spouse. You want to be considerate of their schedule and be in the right frame of mind. Think about the ideal timing for your ask and avoid times like first thing in the morning (unless scheduled), or right before lunch (no one wants to make a decision when hungry), or at the end of the work day or before an important event or meeting. You’d be surprised how many people don’t equate good timing with an answer of yes.
- Consider bringing a warm beverage. Yep you heard that right. Warm drinks make people feel comfortable at ease and can improve your power of persuasion. This is why so many positive conversations happen at coffee shops!
- Be willing to negotiate. What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want? A little give and take or compromising goes a long way in getting what you want.
- Be persistent but not pushy. It’s ok to loop back in the future if your ask wasn’t granted and renegotiate if appropriate. But if it’s not something the other person is liking to give in on even in the future then give it up. Better to keep building trust for future asks.
I hope this little list helps you with your next ask. Here’s to the power of getting people to say YES to you from now on!
